If you now subscribe to my newsletter, you’ll instantly receive a free ebook of my short story collection, Quintessence of Dust. It’s a painless process, and as mentioned in my previous post, I won’t be spamming every hour of the day. So to get the free Kindle book, simply click on this link – I want to subscribe and get my free book – Then, just enter your email and submit. You’ll be directed to a page where the download will commence. It’s that easy!
Ah, yes, but I hear you asking; “Is Quintessence of Dust really worth me sharing my email?”
Here’s the blurb and you make up your own mind:
Quintessence of Dust delivers a world where the Minotaur exists in modern society, drinks in bars and is scared of the dark. Where to lose memories and extract all the pain you’ve brought on others is easily achieved by pulling twine from your rectum. It is a world where the Devil is an old man digging a hole to Hell in his garden, and romance is nurtured by spearing an umbrella through the chest of a winged demon. Here, there are talking camels, and should you ever want to crawl back into the womb and begin a fresh, birth can be reversed. Wishes can be granted, ugly can be erased, and those without ardor or enthusiasm can be nymphomaniacs by pinning a photograph upon a wall. In this world the girth of a neck can bring on suicide, sleep can summon death and people can live within the inner ear canal of others. The streets are always crimson. People are broken. Lust is a commodity measured out in chocolate, and love is lost more than it is conquered.
In this world, the dust bites and never settles.
Here’s the link to Goodreads too, which will give you a fair idea of what other people thought of it. Even if Quintessence of Dust doesn’t float your boat, by subscribing you’ll receive information about my books, promotions and news before anyone else.
Yes, you’ve read it right. A self published book by a relatively unknown author has made it alongside Stephen King, Paul Tremblay, Alma Katsu and Stephen Graham Jones in The Lineup’s best horror novels of 2020.
“To say Wallwork’s novel is ominous is an understatement. Children have been going missing, completely disappearing without a single trace and no leads. The novel focuses on the different perspectives surrounding the disappearances. There’s a writer looking for the next big story to bolster his career, a detective determined to crack the case, and a secret cult that delves into the world of ritualistic murder. Wallwork has crafted a surprising and masterfully-written investigative thriller with flecks of horror.”
Bad People came out in January of this year, followed by the sequel, LABYRINTH OF THE DOLLS, in September. I’m currently writing the third in the series with a view to its release early 2021. So, if you like your thrillers dark and with elements of horror, then go check out the Tom Nolan series on Amazon. And please, if you’re a fan of horror, check out The Lineup’s other recommendations too, especially Max Booth III’s We Need to Do Something because there’s a movie adaptation coming out next year.
I gained a year overnight. I don’t feel any older. It’s not like I woke up and the lines around my eyes were more prominent. It’s not like my knees or back aches any less than they did yesterday. But I am, as my birth certificate contests, 48 years young.
To mark the occasion today sees the release of HEART OF GLASS, a novel about two serial killers who fall in love. I’ve also put up LABYRINTH OF THE DOLLS, the second book in the Tom Nolan detective series, FREE on Kindle for a very limited time period. So this year I’m not asking for gifts, birthday cards or even a surprise party, which would be irresponsible due to the current lockdown. I ask instead that you spend the same amount of money on a birthday card buying either Heart of Glass, or maybe BAD PEOPLE, the first in the Tom Nolan series. Then download for FREE Labyrinth of the Dolls. If you do either of these things know you’ll be supporting independent publishing and giving me the confidence to continue doing what I love. Another birthday favour: if you could drop a mention on your timelines, send out a tweet, or share the news about Heart of Glass and Labyrinth of the Dolls, I’d be indebted. You will never fathom the power of word of mouth. The best birthday gift this year would be to see my books mentioned on any social media platform.
Thank you for sharing, buying, downloading, and above all, for being wonderful people. Craig.
It’s that time of the year again where people across the world want the willies put up them. No, I’m not talking about National Sex Day (which is apparently a thing and is on June 9th, in case you wish to prepare now). Yes, it’s Halloween, that very special spooky part of the year where you can wake up in the morning with ectoplasm on your face and know a visit to the STD clinic isn’t needed. To celebrate, I’m throwing up my horror movie recommendations, many I’m sure you’ve seen, and some you may wish to seek out under the safety of your blanket. So without further ado…
The Exorcist, 1973. Dir. William Friedkin.
Putting aside the terrible infliction that he sounds like Donald Trump, director Friedkin’s breakout horror adaptation of the greatest (yes, I’m saying it loud and proud) horror book of all time by William Peter Blatty, still stands the test of time. You know the story; pre-teen Regan, the most unpopular girl in all of Georgetown judging by the dearth of friends, is so bored that the only joy she gets is going into the basement to conjure up demons by means of a Ouija board. One said demon by the name of Pazuzu, resident paedophile of the underworld who sports a rock-hard erection 24/7, decides angelic looking Regan is just his cup’o’tea. A quick change of name to Mr Howdy, because apparently demons think kids love a cowboy (clearly they’ve not watched Jack Palance in City Slickers), and young guileless Regan is literally consumed by the perv. What follows is two hours of Regan’s mother, Chris, watching her daughter turn into a typical teenager, one who pisses themselves in public, leaves their room a shit-tip, masturbates excessively, and following a KFC binge, blows chunks on some hapless bystander. Highly recommended for any parent wanting an instructional manual on how to get their teenage child to clean up their room and smile again.
Dawn of the Dead, 1978. Dir. George A Romero.
This *romzom about shopping was one of my favourites as a child. Having to assist my mother every Saturday in choosing a selection of processed ready meals at the local Tescos, and seeing firsthand the world-weariness of consumerism there, guaranteed me instant compassion to the many disenchanted souls shuffling around Monroeville Mall in Romero’s classic follow up to Night of The Living Dead. The story is simple enough; it’s all gone tits up and zombies have started to take it upon themselves to get some decent clothes and beauty products, because apparently death does nothing for the complexion or the wardrobe. Everything is fine until some gun-toting freeloaders decide they want in on the action and take over the mall. Our poor zombie friends, many of whom have varying disabilities and poor eye hand coordination, are rendered powerless and end up getting massacred, not because they’re a threat to humans, but because they’re in breach of taking more than their fair share of Mum Roll On deodorant and mouthwash. What follows is an uprising where said zombies throw caution to the wind and attempt a coup d’état. This is an uplifting story about how the infringement of a person’s civil rights unites a group of citizens to stand up and be counted, to fight for what they believe in, and, if the moment presents itself, swap out that Subway foot-long for an actual foot.
*If zomcom hasn’t been coined yet, I’m claiming it as my own Richard Curtis.
Severance, 2006. Dir. Christopher Smith.
Anyone who’s had a corporate job will know which three words have the ability to make your arse cheeks try to clamber back through the hole they flank. Team Build Day. Under the guise of bonding, team building is merely an exercise in pushing the team further apart by infusing animosity, bitterness, and above all else, a need to punch the cocky fucker who thinks they’re Bear Grylls. Director Chris Smith takes this premise and, if the horror isn’t already evident enough, injects Eastern European psychotic mercenaries into the mix. What you end up with is a group of suits going into the Hungarian woods to bond and bone and end up bloody and boneless. Like Eden Lake, this movie sits in reality, and would resonate more save for one thing; Danny Dyer. Thankfully, his cocky barrow-boy charm allows us to suspend some disbelief, because, let’s face it, which cutting edge company is going to hire someone who sounds like they should be selling pig’s dicks on a market stall?
Dead and Buried, 1981. Dir. Gary Sherman.
What begins as a homage to some cheesy television movie where Vaseline is rubbed on the camera lens to give soft focus, and music akin to that better suited to a show like Dallas where Bobby Ewing engages in a bit of tongue tennis, quickly turns into a brutal horror movie where people end up having their eyes punctured by syringe needles, being burnt alive, pumped full of acid (and not the good kind either that makes you want to join a commune), and various other nasty and brutal ends. Dead and Buried is how I imagine a Twilight Zone episode playing out if it had been written by Stephen King. It’s probably the only time you’ll also see a movie where Grampa Bucket embalms the dead, and Freddy Kruger drinking coffee in a cafe. So yes, don’t be put off by that opening sequence. It gets dark very soon after, and continues to do so until its climax.
Slither, 2006. Dir. James Gunn.
Known more for selling out to *Marvel, Gunn was once a decent director able to turn his hand to most genres. His foray into the horror genre started and ended with Slither, a story about aliens that come down in the guise of spleens to terrorise and possess the inhabitants of a small town somewhere in America. Forgive my ignorance of geography, but I’m assuming by the way the men guzzle beer in seedy bars and chase after married women, somewhere in the Midwest? Part Body Snatchers, part Zombie Flesh Eaters, this horror yarn features strong messages of infidelity and divorce and owes more than a nod to movies like The Fly, From Beyond, The Thing, Nightmare on Elm Street, Brief Encounter and Gone Girl. Also known for the classic line: “Don’t let them in your mouth” a phrase that should be the litany of every sex education classes the world over.
*For all the Marvel fans, yes, that comment was made with tongue in cheek, and though I’m sure you were ready to rip me a new one while wearing your Iron Man PJs, know that I actually liked the Guardians of the Galaxy series. Sure, it’s no Deadpool, but then, it’s hard to get that mix of cool, funny and a great soundtrack.
Deep Red (Profondo Rosso), 1975 and Tenebrae, 1982. Dir. Dario Argento.
I’m throwing these in together because a) they’re both by the same director, and b) I’m sure you’ve all lost the will to live by now. If your only exposure to Italian cinema is poorly over-dubbed porn from the mid-80s (whose isn’t?) then you’re in for a surprise. Argento is a master of blending two of my favourite genres; thriller and horror. Both Deep Red and Tenebrae are more like two episodes of Columbo where we see Peter Falk investigate some seriously fucked up shit involving scary-arse dolls (Deep Red) and cut throat razors (Tenebrae). In truth, our bumbling but lovable Columbo would be driven bat-shit crazy and his mack sodden at the hem by the rivers of blood he would have to wade through in these movies. Recommended for all those who like a good who-dun-it with the same feel of a great porno.
Okay, that’s it for now. Whatever you do over Halloween, remember that, like rats, you’re never too far from a psycho. So lock your door. Close the curtains. Watch something scary. And above all else, never allow them in your mouth. But before I go, I can’t end this blog without giving praise to just a few other movies that I’ve loved watching growing up, and still continue to love to this day:
I’m a fickle beast. Having seen the proof copies of Heart of Glass, I decided that the electronic version I created didn’t transfer well to print. Hey, that’s why we have proofs, right? Anyhoo, I’ve been busy as a bee putting together a different design based on the same image. Here’s the result…
Here’s the full sleeve.
Sometimes this happens. Changes to book covers are made on a near hourly basis. Thankfully I had a good lead in time of a month before the release (holy crap, it’s one month until the release!). I hope you like the new design. It’s slicker with a kind of 1950s pulp vibe to it. Don’t forget too that a signed proof copy with the original image is still up for grabs, as is one of ten Kindle versions, if you subscribe to my newsletter. Winners will be announced late October. Good luck.
On November 13th 2020 (which, incidentally, coincides with my birthday, should anyone wish to send presents or congratulations – insert winking emoji here), I have a new book coming out called, Heart of Glass. Here’s the blurb:
Twenty-nine-year-old Jack Glass is cursed. He knows that he will die before he reaches the age of thirty due to a rare genetic heart condition. His birthday is less than two weeks away.
If his life couldn’t get any stranger, his girlfriend has involved him in a mortality experiment that involves killing every manic depressive and lonely soul in his town.
As each day passes, and Jack draws closer to his own end, he begins to question his girlfriend’s motives, and how their lives have become so fortuitously interlinked. But has the weight of all their victims become too much? Is the line between life and death interchangeable? Can one suffer a life worse than death?
Seeking these answers, Jack is forced to accept that however fragile his heart is, the fate of glass is to break
The ebook is now available for preorder by clicking here for the US. Or here for the UK. Unfortunately, Amazon don’t allow preorders on paperbacks yet. Believe me, as a purist, it infuriates me that a multi-billion dollar company cannot arrange for this to happen. I have made a complaint, but hey, I’m a grain of sand tumbling in the wind. I’ll release further updates on my social media platforms, as well as my blog, when the paperback goes live, so please, if you’re not already doing so, follow me on Twitter, Instagram or my author Facebook page.
Finally, I’m giving away ten Kindle copies of the book, and one paperback proof. All you need to do is subscribe to my newsletter to qualify. I’ll pick the winners at random and make an announce early November via the newsletter.
Just a quick one today (Hoorah! I hear you scream). Since the release of Labyrinth of the Dolls on Tuesday, a lot of people have been asking about a paperback version. I assumed, rather naively, that Amazon would release the paperback on, or either side of, the 15th. What I didn’t take in account was COVID and the enthusiastic quality assurance measures of the KDP team. These two hurdles combined have put a frustratingly long delay on the release of said paperback. However, I’m here to say it’s finally available. Yes, my palm is exposed toward the laptop screen waiting for a virtual high five. Ready? One…two…three… *palms laptop screen*. Thanks! So for the purists out there champing at the bit to hold something tangible in their hands, you can now crack the spine of a jolly good thriller/crime/horror book about a serial killer who dresses their victims as dolls. Here’s the links:
You know who said that? Christopher Walken. Profound stuff, right? Well, let’s hold off plans just yet for a twenty-foot bronze statue in his name, because he also went on to say “One day you’re saving the rainforest, the next you’re chugging cock.” Hardly Aristotle. Nonetheless, Walken had a point: Life is completely unpredictable. Yesterday proved that.
In January of this year I released a crime/thriller/horror book called, Bad People. Some of you may remember. Those that don’t, where the hell have you been for the past nine months? It’s birth was troubled. The first run had a number of typos that slowed the readers down, and, rightly, reviews reflected the frustrations of many. I amended this with the help of some very selfless souls scattered around the globe, and who to this day are probably still waiting anxiously for the cheque to drop in the mail. Soon, things began to pick up. Three stars became four. Four stars became five. Praise was poured freely and I, like any ego-driven writer, lapped it up like a feral cat licking at the nipple of a vagrant. Once I’d had my fill (Not of a vagrant’s nipple – note to self: good name for an autobiography), and because I’m not the type to just sit at the laptop hitting refresh every three seconds to see how many sales I have (I’m lying – already I’ve stopped writing this blog at least ten times to check my KDP dashboard. For those ignorant to self-publishing, the KDP dashboard is the place where you find out if you’ve earned enough money to quit your job, or curse the Dickens out of every Amazon customer including your own mother for not buying your book. By in large, it’s the latter), I set about writing a sequel, or more accurately, part two of the Tom Nolan series. This became known as Labyrinth of the Dolls. And that book came out yesterday.
Try to picture it: Tuesday morning rolls around and I’ve spent most of it knocking back Imodium tablets like they’re Tic Tacs, and pacing nervously around rooms that I can’t remember entering. I’ll apologise now to the lovely Asian family who had every right to call the police for me entering their home unannounced and consuming half a bottle of Pepto-Bismol from their refrigerator. When I finally succumbed to nervous exhaustion some time around midday and checked my phone for notifications to see if my cream had soured (any double entendre there happened by accident), I was surprised, nay, shocked, to find quite the opposite. Over the course of the day very favourable reviews has been popping up on Instagram and Twitter, all of which never dipped below four stars. The knot in my stomach that felt akin in size to that tied by Gordian and cleaved by Alexander the Great finally began to unravel. My book had been accepted and was liked. To say I didn’t expect some good reviews would be a lie. But like Walken said, life is unpredictable and until I saw for my own eyes the kind and generous words, as well as the sheer effort some reviewers put into the photographs to accompany the reviews, I just never knew what to expect. I’m going to include a few below because they are the heroes in this silly blog, and I am forever indebted to each and everyone person.
I was also interviewed at TBM: Horror Experts where you can read me go on about horror books, movies and why pineapple on pizza will end in me losing several pints of blood.
If you’re going blind reading reviews, why not sit back and listen to Booked. Podcast, who reviewed Labyrinth of the Dolls for this week’s show.
Also, to mark the occasion of Labyrinth of the Doll’s birth, I arranged for Bad People to be made available for free for a limited time. Therefore, if you haven’t purchased either book yet, then I suggest going over to Amazon right now. You’ll also notice that at the time of writing this, the paperback version for Labyrinth of the Dolls is still unavailable. Don’t worry, it will be up either today (September 16th) or tomorrow priced at £6.99 or $8.99 depending on what side of the pond you sit. This self-sacrificing act of giving away Bad People resulted in the book hitting (at last look) number 30 in the Crime and Thriller chart, and 700 in the overall best seller list. To say I am the cat that got the cream is an understatement, but it also nicely circles back to the aforesaid vagrant nipples. So please, all joking aside, thank you. Your support and kindness has been the scaffold around my career as a writer, and it’s because of you I will continue to write more in the Tom Nolan series.
If you wish to buy Labyrinth of the Dolls, or Bad People, then allow me to extend my gratitude once more, and please, after reading either book, drop a little review or star rating when you have the time. Reviews really make a difference and help inform others of what is wheat, and what is chaff.
“What an excellent day for an exorcism.” - The Demon from The Exorcist.
Okay, maybe I’m not possessed in the Regan-head-spinning-levitating-off-the-bed-throwing-up-pea-soup type of possession, but there’s something definitely inside me. I haven’t consulted with the clergy yet (a letter has been drafted to the Vatican, but the post office is a good twenty minute drive away and the woman who works there gives me the creeps). Instead, to understand fully whether this foreboding demonic presence is something nefarious, or as innocent as indigestion, I’ve sought advice from those two grammar hounds Merriam and Webster. They state on their website that possession is the domination by something. This “something” could be passion, an idea, or worse case scenario, an evil spirit. So which is it, I hear you ask? Or was that the voice of the demon spirit? Moving on…
Unlike Pazuzu, the forever engorged poster boy for Viagra featured in the 1972 movie, The Exorcist, my demon is more in the guise of doubt. I prefer to remain gender natural when talking about demons or deities, but my demon is definitely a cock, so for that reason I will be referring to it as he/him or simply the bastard. From what I can gather since he took rule over me, said bastard’s particular trait is not to force me into masturbating with a cross (or for that matter, masturbate whilst cross), nor to tell those of the cloth that their mothers have a proclivity for sucking appendages of all shapes and sizes in that oppressive, muggy refuge of the damned and iniquitous (no, I’m not referring to Cancun). Instead, my demon spends most of its time whispering in my ear that I’m foolish for thinking I am anything but a mediocre writer. Actually, I would be lucky if they considered me mediocre. Most of the time they refer to me as sub-standard, inadequate, second-rate, and, this one really hurts, as ineffective as a speechwriter for Trump. Now, unlike Regan, there’s no priest standing under a lamp outside my house waiting to enter and purge this demon with a sprinkle of holy water and a hail Mary (say it with me: Hail Mary!). No, I’m left to fend off this earworm by watching episodes of Schitt’s Creek back to back, and as much as I adore the subtle acting of Eugene Levy’s eyebrows as much as the next caterpillar, I am struggling to anchor to the unfortunate events of the Rose family because I keep drifting back to that bastard demon of doubt. Something has to change, and if William Peter Blatty has taught me anything, it’s that having a little faith goes a long way, and that stairs are particularly fatal if you’re not a drunk or a baby.
What kind of faith am I talking about here? Well, not that spouted by theologians and evangelists the world over. I’m thinking more the faith decreed by that Greek stubble-chinned pop God that is Michael of the George. Yes, I gotta have faith. I need to be driven forward, not held back by doubt. What I need is some time off from that emotion. Hell, I need some time to pick my heart up off the floor. So I’m here to ask for help. Doubt has had tenure over my mind for far too long and the only way to rid it from having social gatherings of more than six in my head is for you to do a couple of simple things…
On September 15th my new book, Labyrinth of the Dolls, drops on Amazon (yes, I used the verb drop like all the cool kids, and believe me, I felt more uncomfortable writing it than you did reading it). You can do one or two things to maximise my exorcism: the first is to buy the book. I know, another author trying desperately to get readers to hand over cash like some panhandler in the street. I make no apologies. That’s our thing. Too, that comparison isn’t too far from the truth. Like panhandlers, authors often have a strange smell, write with typos, and extend our hand in the hope someone passing by may be kind enough to tender a coin or two. Think I’m overstretching the analogy? Look at Alan Moore for Christ sake! Second, if you don’t want to buy the book then help spread the word. Social media, for all its evils, is a great platform to help promote indie writers. Sure, it’s also a platform for Trump to start World War III, and Taylor Swift to tell us what salad she’s eating today, both of which unnerve me equally. But you can make a difference by throwing out a link to the book (see below). Better yet, review the book! And by jolly, reviews are the holy water in this poorly constructed metaphor. Oh yes, to see that people are reading your book and actually have nice things to say (I get it’s offset sometimes by the bad things, but I have a long and very extensive shit list that I’m adding names to daily that helps quell any frustrations) is like sipping at ambrosia. It cures. It heals. It makes writers want to write. That, I believe ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is the only way to stamp out that bastard demon called doubt that inhabits my head and soul. So, to paraphrase the immortal words of that Greek God once more: Go put the boom-boom into my heart. But please, just don’t leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.
So it’s two weeks until the official release of Labyrinth of the Dolls, the sequel to Bad People. Already it’s getting some great reviews from advance reader copies on Goodreads saying things like it’s smart, scary, and fiction with flair. So to celebrate the release I’m giving away a rare paperback proof of the book, signed. Currently there are only three of these in existence so getting your hands on a copy might be a good investment. At the very least you can sell it on Ebay and make a 100% profit from the zero investment. 😉 I’ll also add a few annotations to make it more unique.
The way this is going to work is very simple: all you have to do is sign up to my newsletter. That’s it. At random I’ll choose an email from the list and contact the subscriber by September 15th.
Those already subscribed will automatically qualify.
As a bonus, if you subscribe to my newsletter you also get a free a Kindle version of my short story collection, Quintessence of Dust.
In this age where most people with a little knowledge can put together videos that seem halfway decent with just a decent app and a few clicks, and that nearly everyone of these same people are attention-seeking-egomanics, you’ll find in this blog update a book trailer I put together for the upcoming release of Labyrinth of the Dolls, the sequel to Bad People.
Disclaimer: I encourage those with a nervous disposition, high blood pressure, heart conditions and any of the followings fears; dolls, music box music, police, or just weird stuff in general to go pour themselves a large whiskey, hide behind a cushion, and then, and only then, click the above link.
You can now pre-order Labyrinth of the Dolls here:
Thanks for your continued support and please, to help support writers like myself, buy more indie books. If you like the trailer too, please spread the word on any social media platform you have. I’ll be forever indebted. Best wishes, and stay safe.